I was at preschool this morning for one more subbing shift. That’s my excuse for the later-than-usual verse post. I also waited until afternoon before posting because I wanted to make sure I had time to write on my chalkboard and take a picture. Priorities.

My passage for this week is Matthew 16:24-25. The Seeds song is called “Follow Me,” track 6 on “Seeds of Purpose.”

²⁴ Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. ²⁵ For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.”

It’s kind of funny that the song for this passage is so upbeat, because the words can be hard to swallow. But obviously the song is geared toward younger ears, thus the emphasis on the “follow me” part, which I think is appropriate.

But those who are a little older and maturing in our faith will find ourselves confronted with some hard truths in this passage. Denying ourselves, suffering, following someone else, and losing our lives are not things we like to do or things that are celebrated by most people. Some of these things we might be okay with doing a little bit sometimes, but Jesus says we “must” do them, and he doesn’t leave much wiggle room.

This verse tells us exactly how to follow. Jesus tells us what to do and that it is very important. And while he is concise in his instructions, it does take a person some time to understand the fullness of the meaning and learn how to live it out. I’m still trying to figure it out, which is why I don’t feel super comfortable pinpointing here what the exact, practical applications are. What I do know is that I need to obey, and follow to the best of my current ability and understanding. I need to seek God’s wisdom and grace so that ability and understanding will increase as I go.

For me right now, this passage is a continuation of what I learned from Matthew 6:20-21 about holding my possessions loosely. I now have to take it even further, not only holding my possessions, but my very life with a loose grip so I can give God the honor and authority he deserves. Today I am reminded that my self-protecting, fearful desire for comfort is not conducive to Jesus’ instructions for his followers. This is one more thing I am to give up in favor of a closer walk with the one I claim to follow. What might that mean? Probably giving up some time. Some convenience. Some preference or pride. I know it definitely means continuing to allow the Spirit to train my mind to think of others before I think of myself.

Here are some references that helped my understanding today, and may help you. I’m just pasting the links I had open in my browser as I wrote this post.

Matthew 16:27 (a sobering verse that sparks much thought for me on the idea of merit in the light of grace, and almost immediately follows the instructions from verses 24-25 indicating an important connection)

Colossians 3:1-17 (More specifics on dying to self, actions to avoid or adopt)

Romans 6 (Even more specifics on Christ’s death as it pertains to us and our sin)

What does Matthew 16:24-25 mean to you?

This week’s verse/passage is Proverbs 3:5-6. The Seeds song is called “Trust,” track 5 on “Seeds of Purpose.” I almost skipped this one because I’ve had it memorized for years, but I decided to go ahead and focus on it this week anyway. The Bible can teach us new things every time we read it, and I think the message of this passage can apply to our lives in very different ways at different times. It has certainly brought new truth to light for me.

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

There is a huge difference in what this passage meant to me as a high school student preparing to go to college (I think that’s when I first memorized it) and what it means to me now as an adult. Thank you, Lord, for helping me grow and change and trust you in new ways!

When I read this passage today I felt something like a gentle tap on the shoulder from the Spirit himself, a whisper that prompted me to make a directional adjustment in my walk.  Today the conviction I felt was (graciously) gentle, and the changes seem easy enough, especially with help from above. This is how he makes our paths straight! His guidance is such an amazing gift!

I felt that the directional adjustment needed for me is in how I process and share my emotions. Sometimes I let thoughts tumble around in my head too much before sharing, and other times I share without really thinking at all. The danger with both of those choices is that the feelings can turn into something else altogether, and the result is counter-productive to my life and relationships.  I will need to make changes in two different areas: the first is in what I do when I first feel something, and the second is in how I voice it, specifically to my husband since he’s usually the first to hear about it. What a lucky guy!

The Spirit shed light on my frequent response of thinking and thinking and thinking when I encounter a more complex emotion. Instead, I really need to pray and pray and pray! Those two behaviors are so close in form (in other words they both feel like thinking), but have really different functions and roots in the heart. They also have different consequences. When I over-think and over-analyze I am being prideful, selfish, and lazy even if I don’t realize it. No good “fruit” will grow from this behavior- it’s like spinning my wheels. It will breed confusion, trouble, and sometimes just plain old drama. But if I pray, I will humble myself by acknowledging to God that I need and want to do what he would have me do. The fruits that come from this behavior are peace, wisdom, patience, humility, and more. This is not to say that I shouldn’t still think! I sometimes swing to the other end of the spectrum, sharing before I have given any thought to the matter at all, which has the same roots and can produce the same bad fruits as when I over-think, strangely enough. Thinking still needs to be part of the sharing process, but my thoughts should be rooted in Scripture and surrendered to the Lord to ensure good fruit.

I was also convicted that when I share what I’m feeling (specifically with my husband, but also with others) I need to be more calm, more specific, and more action-oriented. Often I just spill my guts to Mike, and while this indicates some good things like my trusting him, it’s often not helpful or productive, or even fair. Sometimes when I spill an emotion to Mike I am not even sure what it is yet, and in that confusion things can snowball and turn into something else entirely– molehills into mountains, as it were. This might include bringing up past hurts or blowing up an issue that is not the real issue. When I share these un-processed feelings I am putting onto my husband a responsibility that he should not and cannot bear– that of capital-d Discerner. Because I have the Holy Spirit with me at all times, I should turn to the Spirit as my first source for discernment since his wisdom is perfect and my husband’s is just not. So my new task is to share after prayer and with goals in mind about what I need from my listener. Maybe I will need just that: a listening ear. But I may need encouragement, affirmation, help identifying the next right step, or I may need something else that I’m not aware of yet (like correction– ouch!). It seems like this more prayerful way of sharing will be more beneficial and edifying to everyone around me.

Note: I definitely think it can be okay to spill or vent to a trusted person sometimes. I’m not saying that external processing is bad, or that we cannot benefit from those times when feelings just spill out. Sometimes we are overwhelmed and aren’t even aware of what we’re doing, and I have seen God graciously provide me with wisdom and clarity through that sharing process. But we need to be wise and balanced, and I believe the Spirit can train us to engage in new, more godly responses when we are overwhelmed (aka renewing our minds). And for me, right now, primarily in my marriage, I am seeing that I can serve the relationship by first turning to the Lord to discern what I’m feeling and why, and rely on wisdom from above when deciding what/when/how to share. I don’t want to share something when I’m “turned up to 11” that should be shared at a 5 or 3, if that makes sense.

I think this change in thinking and sharing is part of taking my thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), allowing God to renew my mind (Romans 12:2, Ephesians 4:20-24), learning humility, and just one more way in which I can acknowledge God as Proverbs 3:5-6 instructs.

It was not just Proverbs that inspired this conviction for change. I have been reading Christine Hoover’s blog for a while, and recently listened to a talk she gave to a group of pastors’ wives based on something she had previously written about: 4 Conversations to Have with Your Pastor Husband. One of the 4 conversations was “I need your help,” and it was her thoughts on that particular conversation that started me thinking about how I could be a better sharer. You can listen to or download the talk here, and I also found a link to download a pdf of the talk outline. The talk is pretty ministry-specific, but even if you are not in full time vocational ministry, the blog post is worth at least a quick scan.

I’m sorry/not sorry this turned into such a long post! 🙂 I ended up with more time this morning than I had previously planned thanks to a snow delay that canceled my substitute teaching gig at our church’s preschool, so I’m enjoying my warm house and warm coffee while the wind blows the snow around outside. I’m looking forward to being with the little munchkins for the rest of the week, weather permitting.

My fourth verse of 2015 is Mark 12:30-31. The Seeds song is called “Greatest Commandment,” track 4 on “Seeds of Purpose.” This is such an important verse to have memorized, and you can take Jesus’ word for it… in the verse! 🙂 Here it is:

³⁰ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ ³¹ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no commandment greater than these.”

In verse 28 Jesus was asked what is the most important commandment. We know from the verses following this passage that the guy who asked the question, a teacher of the law, was genuinely looking for truth from Jesus and not trying to trap him as some others were. I enjoy how concise Jesus’ answer is while also covering broad ground. But just because Jesus said there is really only one important thing does not mean we have found an easy way out. To love God and love others covers everything. That’s how two commandments are actually one- if I love God, that will lead me to love others. This one commandment can guide my entire life from the inside out.

If Jesus himself said that these are the most important things to do and add up to the one greatest thing, I should hop to. It is something I can incorporate daily: how can I love God in this situation? How can I love others? How can I look for new opportunities and take advantage of the opportunities I already have?

For those of us who are teaching younger people how to follow the Lord, this passage is an important one. If there are two categories- loving God and loving others- how do our actions fit into each one? The good behaviors we try to teach children like sharing, honesty, politeness, obedience, responsibility, etc. can each fit into one of those categories. And as the adults in those relationships we need to be examples of how we strive to behave in similar ways, explaining why when we get the opportunity. Thankfully we don’t have to rely on our own strength to do this; God loves us and gives us his Spirit as our helper.

For some Old Testament background on this verse, look up Deuteronomy 6:4-5 and Leviticus 19:18.

This week I feel like January has finally picked up speed. I have a few extra things on my calendar, and events I once thought were so far away (“Oh, that’s not until March!”) are practically around the corner.

My third verse of 2015 is Matthew 6:31-34. The Seeds song is called “Seek First,” track 3 on “Seeds of Purpose.” Here is the text:

³¹  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

The “do not worry/be anxious” commands from the Bible are interesting to me. Worry is so natural and easy for us, yet we’re told not to do it. Thankfully, we are also given instructions for what to do instead.

I love that. In my work with kids I have often been tasked with stopping a child from engaging in a certain behavior. In those situations my main focus is actually not the undesirable behavior, but rather teaching a new behavior to replace it. (I have my training in Applied Behavior Analysis to thank for this principle- behaviors do not just disappear into a vacuum! We are always doing something.) This is true for young children, but also true for us. Just like a preschooler wants to grab a toy out of his friend’s hands, we want to worry. It’s our go-to, knee-jerk response. It seems like our only option. I know the blank stare that follows telling a child not to take toys from someone else. It’s a look that says, “But how else am I supposed to get it?!?” The child is desperate; he feels like he truly needs that toy! So when I give the “do not” command, I need to be ready with the “but.” The “but” is the part that tells us what we should do to get what we need and feel at peace. With little kiddos it’s, “Do not grab a toy out of your friend’s hands, but ask him if you can play with that toy next, and play with something else while you wait.” (Which, as we all know, doesn’t always work out, and usually there is need for adult intervention as we teach this skill. But I think the analogy still works.)

For worry, it seems our command is, “Do not worry, but seek God.” The passage tells me (implicitly) that if God knows we need something, he will make sure we get it. Worrying will not solve my problem or meet my need. Seeking God’s kingdom and righteousness will lead to greater knowledge of his character, and part of that character is taking care of his children. He loves to meet needs and give good gifts to them in his wisdom and time. As far as food and drink and clothing, I am reminded of one of my favorite verses from Psalms: “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” There is also Philippians 4:19, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” So instead of worrying I should look to God’s Word, trust his character, and keep taking those next right steps. He will make sure my physical needs are met, but more importantly his Spirit will give me peace in my mind and heart.

It’s my prayer that memorizing and meditating on this verse will lead to a week of less worry and more trust.

Do you have a favorite verse, quote, or technique that helps you to worry less?

Memorization-wise, Matthew 6:20-21 was an easy one. I had it down by Tuesday afternoon. Content-wise, I have a harder time figuring out the deeper meaning of the words, and what specific actions are required of me. But what I know for sure is I can’t wait for complete understanding before taking action. This is where faith and experience can propel us forward. I can have faith that Jesus was serious when he said (in verse 19 actually) “Do not store up treasures here on earth.” I can have faith that he was giving these instructions for people’s benefit, and I will be better off if I follow. This eliminates the excuse of “I don’t understand.” So until I feel like I completely “get” what he was saying, I need to follow the best way I know how.

For now it means I should not seek to unnecessarily accumulate things that can get dusty or moth-eaten or rusted out, or could be stolen. Basically, THINGS. All kinds of things.

I’ll be real honest: I have a pretty big fear of my house flooding or burning down, and it is because of all the things that would be destroyed in either event. I am afraid of how bad it would feel to lose my stuff and see it destroyed. I am so nostalgic and sentimental and a big part of my enjoyment of things is the memories they bring me, so I think that’s the main fear- losing the tie to those memories. But they’re still THINGS. Contemplating Jesus’ words this week reminded me to loosen my grip on my possessions so they don’t take up so much real estate in my heart.

Practically, I am editing and getting rid of unnecessary clutter, especially if someone else could use the stuff. I am giving things away. But what I really want is for my brain to be re-wired so I can look at my things with appreciation and gratefulness, but also with the understanding that it’s just stuff, and does not hold nearly as much value as heavenly treasures (like growing in humility to just name one). So I am giving myself reminders and asking myself questions. Would I rather have the perfect piece of clothing for every season and occasion so I can look great, or would I rather look more like Jesus in my words and actions? It’s easy to speak the correct answer, but a quick peek in my closet might indicate some misplaced value. That makes me sad. But I am confident that mental re-wiring can, will, and is taking place thanks to the Spirit of the one who spoke so long ago. My salvation is my greatest treasure, and my goal is for my life to reflect that value a little more each day. I can get there with grace, wisdom, and strength from above.

If you were memorizing/contemplating Matthew 6:20-21 this week, how did it go for you?

Note: I could have spent way more time on this post, especially on unpacking what Jesus meant, but I focused on immediate steps of obedience. For additional reading, look at the story of the rich young ruler in Matthew 19:16-26. When I read 23-26 I usually cry. It is not only solid teaching from Jesus about how harmful it is for us to get wrapped up in material things, but also a picture of God’s grace as Jesus speaks to his disciples. You know what- go ahead and read through to the end of chapter 19, too. It’s all good stuff relating to this topic of where our hearts need to be.